Monday, November 29, 2010

Wisdom speaks and knowledge listens.

Hey everyone,

I feel nostalgic today. I feel like turning the pages of history and looking back in time. I cried so bad last night because it was my second last day of the four years I spent in University of Karachi. It's like there was a rundown of lost and found in my mind. I feel so damn emotional. Seriously!

Of all the people I'd miss Sir Humair and Sir Fahim will be on top of the list actually. Cuz I cannot just forget them this easily. I consider them as my mentors. They taught me a lot.

Yesterday, as I was driving through university, my eyes were misty. Because I felt like it's all going to end very soon and I won't be able to roam around in university again. Obviously like I can come in anytime and roam around but not as a formal student. Which makes my heart sink :(.

Prem gali, football ground, ISPA, pharmacy, relaxy juice spot, food science. OMG. There is so much that I am leaving behind :(. My soul, my memories, my friends. Cuz naturally when you graduate you don't quite stay in touch that much. I feel so low at the moment :(.

A wrong turn for the right destination.

Morning fellas,

I did a very wrong thing yesterday. I know it and I do realize it, in contrast to how I am, I wanted to say it too. I wanted to express my dismay over my silly decision, but let’s just see if it was silly enough. Lately, my nature has become consistently inconsistent. I have severe mood swings and I dunno how to tame myself when it erupts.

Last night, I had a very bad mood swing. You know, sometimes you just want attention from that one person and he fails to deliver that. Sadly enough, other people around you start giving you that attention. It is like this with me. I feel really bad because if I want something from someone then I’d only want it from that particular person. Other people around me, giving me attention and love won’t help fill the void.

I guess it’s quite normal? Isn’t it? Or maybe it isn’t. And maybe that is why I just called off with one of my friends yesterday. My mood swings being the reason. I don’t want to pour my anger out on someone each time I feel bad. Neither they deserve it, nor would I like to do it. I want to be contained, able to gulp my exasperation on my own. I don’t want to make anyone the victim of my mood swings. Especially when someone doesn’t deserve such behaviour.

Hence, I think, my life without good people is better than my life with good people and me hurting them. I am sorry. I know I did wrong but seriously, I don’t want to victimize you anymore.

I felt so bad that I cried and cried until I ran short on breath. I fished my inhaler from my bag and puffed it in. I couldn't regain my breath because I broke into hiccups. Sleeping at 3 am was just an eventuality. It happened. I didn't know when I slept.

Friday, November 26, 2010

V for Vendetta. Maybe.

Morningah sathiyon,

Don't you just hate it when someone is like bursting at the seams and have so much of pride that they cannot contain it in themselves? Every morning, I am the first one to be picked by the van. And the third person is that make-up girl. We actually had good talking-terms but lately, after that incident, things have become a bit hard to handle on both the ends.

We used to talk a lot to each other as the van would reach the office, but since last 2 days, we can only manage to say salaam to each other. That is where we stand now, where we can not stand each other (wah kya line hai). Anyway, so today she entered the van. Saima was not in the van today, so it was just me and her. She sat in the van and said salaam to me which sounded more like a murmur. I ignored, smiled, and replied.

As the van continued its journey towards the office, both of us sat estranged to each other -- looking outside our windows. She didn't bother saying anything and for obvious reasons, I did the same. I realised in my heart how people change with situations. How their perspectives can change too. And (why stating the obvious?) their behaviours.

I thought how long would it continue. Is this a start of a vendetta? I mean, we will pull faces at each other, sitting opposite to each other and won't talk, wouldn't bother filling the log book for each other and won't do other small favours that we used to extend to each other. Sad situation, I felt. But obviously, if she’s showing me attitude after what happened, then I am definitely not the person to initiate talking to her. Although, I don’t mind such things, but this time, I do have my reservations!

Anyway, a good thing to add after all the whining is that my sister gave birth to a baby boy. They named him Muhammad Ibrahim (mashAllah). Although, I can never quite understand the features of a new born baby, but he looked beautiful. Yes. He didn’t have a wrinkled skin or rashes or pimple-like things =\. He was pretty : ). I took loads of pictures yesterday. My sister was also looking good. She didn’t have a swollen nose, or pigmented skin or that weary look that usually women have after giving birth.

MashAllah, both the child and the mother looked beautiful. Muneeb bhai (the father), kept walking in the corridor until the doctor came outside and said in a filmy way, “Mubarik ho, aapko beta hua hai” :p. The gynaecologist proclaimed that this is my couple of the year. Maybe she was not making it up, but I dunno why I felt that it was the “lie” of the year. HAHA!

Anyway, I need to get down to business. Time to do some work. Will upload my nephew’s pictures soon, inshAllah.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Not worth a whoop.

Greetings everyone!

I can proclaim today as the worst day of my life, but I won't. You would probably think that such a whining person like me is saying such a positive thing? Lol. Yeah but sometimes you have to think positive and look at the bigger picture in life. Although it was such a slow and unproductive day, definitely not worth a whoop.

The main reason why I ignored the little mishaps today in the office was simply because I laughed a lot in the office today. Maybe that was just because I didn't have much to do. But who cares?! (As Sir Humair says)

There are a lot of politics going on in the office. The make-up girl and this 'anchor' girl are eating me up. Like literally. I just don't understand why people can not mind their own business at times and keep poking in your matters. Basically, it all started when I was waiting for van yesterday and there was no car available in the office.

I called in my colleague and asked him to break his shoot and pick me up from office and he can drop me on his way to his shoot again. Gladly, he agreed, but sadly, it couldn't work out. Let me explain how. After one and half hour of waiting, my colleague, Azfar bhai, arrived. He told me to come out and if there is anyone else to be dropped then they can tag along as well. That is what was done wrong in the whole situation!

I was stupid enough to goto the make-up and anchor girl and ask them if they have to go. They actually wanted to go but they had ordered tea for themselves. And the anchor girl gave me dirty looks and said, "when you have waited for so long, why are you fretting to stay for 20 more minutes". Firstly (bitch), I am not your personal servant. Secondly, I am your colleague. Not even your sub-ordinate that you are trying to rule things on me. Thirdly, it was I who asked for the car otherwise you wouldn't be going home this early. And last but not the least, an average tea costs between Rs. 15-20, you shouldn't waste someone's favour for that petty an amount!

I was so exasperated. On her self-conceited behaviour and her rude reply to what I had said. I decided not to be angry and take it easy on me. Maybe she didn't mean it the way she said it. Or maybe I was already so angry that I was being judgemental towards her. Whatever the case it was, in the end it was I who had to suffer cuz of them and their TEA!

I had to leave early for university and I decided to take a rickshaw home. I apologised to Azfar bhai for spoiling his shoot but who can stop the inevitable? And later in the day, I read this quote in the newspaper:

"The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But the silence of good people!"

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I know and I feel, but I won't say.

Morning loagon,

If you take me for my face value, you are surely going to regret. Because I am definitely not as confident as I look like. I am very sheepish from inside. I usually shy away from things. There are many instances in which I prefer staying quiet and even if I want to say, I can't muster courage to do so. Instances like these have always kept me on backfoot in my home. I have always been quiet when it comes to discussions and a laggard when someone asks for opinions.

I am hesitant in my own home. Whereas, I am not the same me when I am outside. The environment outside my home brings out the best in me. Or so I believe. It has always been like that. Ever since I was young. I always feared discussions with my parents. I always hesitated in sharing my feelings to my siblings (except for Natasha). But usually, I had and still do have this fear that they will judge me. They will think I am doing something wrong. I know it isn't like that, but who can justify feelings after all?

It was yesterday that I was watching 'Kaun banega crorepati' hosted by Amitabh Bachhan. I usually don't like reality shows cuz I have a perception that they are far from reality. Anyway, just when I was watching the show, my father walked in my room and said "Aap se toh mulaakat hi nae hoti ab!" (We don't get to meet you now). I hesitated. I said no, not really. I just said salaam to you. He said "my point too. I think we talk very less now. I don't quite remember when was the last time we spoke properly". I sank in my bed with embarrassment. I know what he said was right, but my bad, I couldn't and didn't respond properly.

Rather than clearing out his confusion in this regard, I chose to stay silent. A voice inside of me was telling me to tell him, to communicate with him, to connect. But I am so bad when it comes to close relationships. I hesitate in wording my feelings. In saying them. I wanted to tell him that I am sorry, I too missed him but my schedule is as mad as a bag of hungry squirrels. But I remained silent. Tsk.

Then he kept talking, asking me for updates -- university and job et cetra. I told him in terse replies. I was actually choosing words, which was obvious in my voice. I went 'ahh', 'err', 'hmmm' again and again. My father SO dislikes that! After tolerating me for sometime, he finally said what I was expecting to hear, "You can go in your room if you feel like, because I am getting a feeling that you are not in a mood to talk". Defensively, I said, "No, it's not that. Maybe I am tired. I can't get enough energy to talk properly". He shrugged in dismay and said, "Well in that case, I don't want to torture you by keeping you here. You may leave".

I was frozen. Stuck to the chair I was sitting on. I felt SOOO bad! I cursed myself in heart. Why Sidrah?! Why? Why are you so hesitant in expressing your feelings? Why can't you enjoy laughing with your father?


I stood up and walked to my room, slouching. I couldn't walk properly. I was so tired that I felt my feet trembling. I felt both sorry and bad that I am such a loser. I didn't sympathise with myself though. I was very angry to myself. I still am. And this feeling is going to linger for at least a day, I am sure. I don't wanna think/talk all negative, but I guess I am just not having my days these days.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Aching void and being paranoid.

I have been feeling a bit weird since last night. I woke up in the middle of my sleep and my heart was going bonkers. I dunno what had happened. Something stirred me from inside. No, stir doesn't define the magnitude properly, I guess jolt would do it. Something jolted me from inside. I woke up and felt an enormous amount of butterflies in my stomach. It growled. As if the butterflies were trying to break the wall of my stomach and break free.

There was a flood inside of me. I sat on my bed. Silent crept in my room. The aching void of the room was killing me. It was deafening. I recited lahaul and tried to get back to sleep. When I woke up in the morn, I had a very bad hangover. Fighting against myself, I stepped out of the bed, whining about winters and the pathetic feeling you get just when you get out of the bed.

I proceeded towards the washroom, and kept the water running from the tap for sometime in an attempt to get warm water :p. My attempt was a failure, subdued I surrended to the bitter coldness of the water. I splashed some on my face in order to get accustomed to the eerie feeling of it. I did my wudhu and came out and said prayers.

To my surprise and totally in contradiction to my usual behaviour, I had ironed my clothes already in the night. Therefore, I didn't have to run in my home like crazy. I lazily went to the kitchen, relaxed that my clothes are ironed, started to make breakfast for me. Damn, I realised that I was properly having breakfast after a long long while. Anyway, I put the saucepan on the flame and put some wheat oats and milk and waited for my porridge to become creamy. I like it creamy. And you know, if you put in a pinch of salt, it gives you the perfect taste. Cuz you know, salt is that element which binds all the tastes together.

Anyway, I ate my porridge in silence -- the same aching void. I turned on the TV and started to watch this show 'GEO Ajooba' on GEO news. I think it's a good show. The host is very lifely and all :p.

After having too much of him (for about five minutes) I thought it would be wise of me to get changed. Hence I went to my room and got changed. By the way, I ran out of my favourite purple Rexona deo and I asked my brother to bring a new one. I told him I want a purple one but he bought a white one :(. White one is not that good. The fragrance is slightly manly :p. It doesn't suit me. To overcome the weird fragrance, I sprayed a good amount of my favourite perfume -- Beyond Paradise.

I took out my golden gladiator slippers and wore them. Did some seamless make-up. Well, you wouldn't quite call it a make-up. I just wear kohl and lip balm. Lip balm is good in winters. Keep your lips moisturised and supple.

Anyway, as I came in my office I was fine. But I dunno what got into me, I don't feel all enthusiastic anymore. I dunno why =\. I had biryani for lunch. I shared it with Saima. I had the best piece of chicken, I asked them to put that one :p. It was very spicy and I like spicy biryani. I had a nice, hot cup of coffee.

OK too much ranting. Bye for now :p.

Mic testing - one, two, three.

Hello fellas,

This is my first mobile blawg! I wanna see if it works properly. So maybe next time I can blog from my phone.

Anyway, my day was so crazy. But thank God I had an off today. Hamdulillah! Rested like maaaaadddd. Slept like a cat! I feel fresh to face a new fatiguing tomorrow!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Crows are lazy, lazy birds.

Yellow everyone!

My van driver has this awful habit of picking me up before he picks anyone else. So I have to sit in the van until it is filled with differently smelling people. Some smell of chalk. Some smell of a mixed smell of dust and soap. Some people smell as if broccoli is jarred for a week and then someone opens the lid :p. Some smell of black cat talcum powder :p. And so on and on and on ...

Anyway. As we were standing outside an employee's home, I saw a flock of crows on the road. One funny thing that I observed was that whenever a car would come, rather than flapping wings and flying, the crows would only jump on the road and only fly when the car is about to crush them. I just wondered why these birds are so lazy. They don't do anything until bad time comes.

Ironically, isn't that what we humans do too? Like we just keep trying the smaller things and procrastinate until things get worse and then we really have to struggle. It's all easy peasy otherwise. We take things and life on the whole very lightly. We never care about future. We never foresee our tomorrow and thus we never prepare for the bad times coming.

We always leave the work for tomorrow. Like those crows. Deeming the car wouldn't crush them, they just keep jumping around the car until they see death staring in their eyes. That's so like us, isn't it? Think!

I swear to drunk I am not God!

I slept at 3:30 the night before yesterday, woke up at 8 am yesterday and continuously worked till 7 pm then reached home at about 10:00 pm. Slept woke up at 6:20 am today and I am in office.

To my dismay, I forgot my coffee jar at home and I am damn sleepy at the moment =(.

Friday, November 19, 2010

The hangover, Eid and job.

Morning people,

Before I hit my sack at around 3:30 am in the morn, I set an alarm for 8:40 am, so at least I would get a 5-hour sleep. But my dreams were shattered midway when my driver arrived at 8:00 am in the morning. I didn't hear the doorbell and everyone else was asleep too. After five to ten minutes, he gave me a call on my phone and I woke up with a mixed emotion of shock and dismay. I hated to wake up an hour before!

I kept sitting on the bed for 2 minutes to regain my senses. Then I hopped off my bed and hurried towards the closet and took out the clothes, put them on the bed and scurried to the washroom. I washed my face in a very brutal manner, brushed my teeth rigourously and ran outside while picking up the clothes from my bed and headed straight to the iron stand.

I almost burnt my hands twice and burnt my clothes thrice. Thank God none of it happened :p. I hurried back to my room, got changed, dabbed my sunblock, took out my shoes, picked my bag and hurried outside. Just when I was about to step out, I realized that I have forgotten my wallet, so I ran inside the home again, straight to my room and picked up my wallet.

I finally stepped out of home and sat in the car with a very bad face. I pulled faces at the driver from time to time. I was really hungry. I felt my stomach making noises. I calmed my senses by telling myself that I will pick something on my way to the office. But sadly enough, I was the only girl in the van and the rest were all men. I felt a bit hesitated to ask the driver to stop somewhere. Hence, I just kept silent and let the car reach the office.

I overheard the driver when he was telling the admin person that he is going out. I capitalized on the opportunity and asked him to bring some nashta for me. Now I am waiting for my nashta and blogging.

I think I should start working on the report I have to make today.

So, bye for now!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Cupid was never my best friend.

I always hated how love destroys lives. How it holds the power of devastating a person. How it can end in heart failure and nervous breakdown. But could I ever manage to hate the feeling of love? No! One cannot. Because maybe, whatever I said above can be rewritten as how 'someone' can destroy a life. How someone could devastate a person. How someone can make the other end up with a heart failure or a nervous breakdown.

It's so strange how someone can be influential, isn't it?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Eid and job are not made for each other.

It's 8:30 pm and I got home just 35 minutes ago. It's Eid-al-Adha in Pakistan and I was on job today. And mind you, mine is not a desk job. I am a reporter by profession hence I have to go on shoots too. And since it is Eid today I had to go and cover the waste management done today.

It was so hot today, despite the fact that winters have (sort of) started. Hence I busted my complexion even more. My hands are the darkest shade of brown now and to my dismay my left hand is comparatively fairer than my right one. I hate that. Cuz then both my hands look different and that's very embarrassing if somebody takes a notice of it :p.

Anyway, today me and my colleague Saima had loads of fun. We had decided earlier that we will wear something gaudy. Although her definition of the word differs from mine, lol. Her dress was gaudier than mine. Too flamboyant. Whilst mine was colourful, but not that jazzy.

The other day, I mentioned 'Pakistani' men. I feel like talking about it today. Basically the term 'Pakistani men' does not refer to some men, or people in general. It is a kefiyat -- a state. Even I can represent the herd sometimes by exhibiting some traits :p. Not all Pakistani men are Pakistani men but majority of them are :p. I hope you get my point?

Anyway, let's get down to business. I feel the urge to yell about it everyday but then I tell myself that I am OK and whining about this issue is so last season. But every day some or one Pakistani brother does something so awful that I just started hating them again. Like today, when we were out for shooting the dumped innards of sacrificial animals, I stepped out of the car for coverage.

Suddenly, I felt all eyes are on me. No, not that I am a star or something and not even because I was holding a mic. It was merely because I was a girl and I am no less than amusing for the people around. And trust me on this, I sometimes wish that I were a guy. I so wish that man!

I felt so bad because every passerby either hooted or gave me a head-to-toe look. And no I wasn't dressed immodestly. I was, as a matter of fact, covered up properly. Which is the notion why I am angrier. Anyway, my (much too caring) colleague, Azfar bhai kept telling me to wrap up soon because he, like me, was exasperated by the crowd around. And he wasn't feeling that for him, but he was concerned about me. And he doesn't come in Pakistani men :p. He's just a man. Haha.

Anyway, for those who might think that I am into sweeping generalizations, believe me I am not. There are men in my life that I am very much inspired by. Like Sir Humair, Sir Fahim, Muhammed Ali Nasser, my father. Hmmm. That's it I guess :p. And then there are men in my life that I appreciate, like and am friends with. But then there are friends of mine that sometimes break into the Pakistani men fit and then I part ways with them.

OK the blog's too long I guess. I hope I was clear on the concept. I finished my noodles meanwhile and asked my brother to put the mango juice in the freezer for me. And I just love Google Chrome because it has this spell check thingy that saves me from any faux pas that I might commit.

So long people.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

We were and definitely are two different nations!

Don't we always rant about how good a decision it was to part ways with India? We always cried that our religion, culture, rituals, tradition, language, yadda yadda yadda differs from Indians. Or I should better call them Hindus. Anyway, the point of content always remained the same. We differed. Yes we did. Actually, we still do.

Of all the things mentioned above, we differ in approach. I always envied Indians (don't hate me for this). But I have always loved the way they portray themselves -- So positively, so glamorously. And buy it or not, India knows how to rule the business. Really.

Yesterday, in our Advanced Reporting sessions, we were talking about the Top 100 most valuable global brands. I was both surprised and disappointed to find out that two Indian brands have paved way to this list. And this list is not your conventional everyday list. It contains the most powerful brands from across the globe.

ICICI bank has made it to the top 100 most valuable global brands whereas Infosys, an outsourcing company based in India has been ranked 18 on the Technology list. Awestriking, isn't it?

We sprouted from the same seed, blossomed at the same time, but why is it that India succeeded to bloom whereas we only learnt to wilt? I felt very bad when I got to know this because as discussed in our class, in Pakistan, individuals make names, whereas in India, brands make names.

When an individual gets fame, seldom people behind it are given the limelight. The credit goes to the person on the forefront. Rest is ignored. It's a one man show. But when a brand or an organization makes name, then the team or the people behind it are also given their due credit and share. Hence, it is more fruitful for an organization or a brand to grow than an individual.

I guess that is what shows us the bigger picture of both the economies. India's economy is growing faster than Pakistan and definitely expanding more.

We should take this as a lesson for future and start working on sectors rathers than sections and pay heed to the bigger picture.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Monday blues.

Morning fellas!
It's a boring Monday morning and I am sitting in my office. And I am still yawning. Lol. I generally despise Mondays but lately I was able to cope up with this problem. But now, AGAIN, I am caught with this trouble. Mondays aren't really bad but you know there's this 'psychological' thing with your mind that keeps telling you that on Mondays you're more sleepy, more lethargic and definitely more unproductive.

Anyway. I ran out of my Nescafe' gold jar, and I bought another one ^_^ ! I am so happy. I just love this blend. It's stronger than the classic one and it's more creamier. I guess. Or so I feel :p.

And and and, the news for today is, my nephew Shayan (Read: Shayawwwnnn) is gonna come! I am more than excited to see him : ). (MashAllah :p). I am gonna buy doughnuts for him on my way back. He simple loves doughnuts : ).


OK, I am off to some work now.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Pedicure and the bloodshed.

OK in my previous blog, I had told you that I skipped my dinner. Now the reason is -- I couldn't really eat. Because I had a bleeding pinkie. Ouch. Let me tell you how it happened ...

It was when I was doing my father's pedicure. His heels were REALLY scaly, hence I had to use a callous remover. So like, I put a new blade in the callous remover and I told my father to be VERY careful. Cuz he's such a baby :p. Like he thought I am tickling his feet when I was scrubbing. And he was really scared when I was trimming his toenails. He thought I'd pick on his flesh. Lol. Gosh. Anyway.

So I told him, papa steady. Don't move, OK? He said it's an involuntary action and I am not responsible for my feet reacting like that. I surrendered. I tried to cope up with his jerking feet. But since this blade thing is very dicey and you need to be really careful, I was trying to be slow and easy.

Then suddenly papa jerked his foot so baaaaddddd that the callous remover bumped with my fingers and the blade penetrated so deep that I had very SERIOUS cuts. And obviously the blood wouldn't stop. I created a mountain of tissues in an attempt to clot my wound, but all in vain.

Anyway. Papa was crimson in embarrassment and believe me, it hurt me more than the blade. Cuz honestly, I never wanted him to feel bad. I mean he didn't do anything. The actions were literally unintentional.

Anyway. I dabbed a generous amount of polyfax and covered it with my Disney band aid. It is not bleeding anymore, but it hurts. Haaye!

Omlette du fromage.

Alright, in an attempt to calm my 'bullish' mood, I tried doing something that will lighten me up. Maybe watch TV? But TV has never really been my cup of tea. What next? Ummm, some book? I am reading this urdu afsana these days. But no, not at this hour. What else? Hmm. Maybe I should text someone? But how can I forget all my friends must be sleeping :(.

So right, I think I will make a cheese omlette for myself. Yes. That's what I am gonna do. The double layered cheese omlette. I know it won't rescue me from my morbidity, but it sure is going to kill time.


The silent weeps of an unprofessional employee.

Note: I always thought I will start blogging seriously, but I never got the chance and the motivation to do so. Today I just feel like I need to vent. Hence I am writing this blog.

Hello folks,

I woke up today and opened my closet to a set of new clothes and picked and chose the one I liked the best. I selected a scarf to go with it and started to iron my clothes. I'd like to mention here that I work for a TV channel based in Karachi that airs in most areas of Pakistan. I was getting ready to go to work and was waiting for my office driver. While ironing my clothes, I gave a call to my driver, cuz it was comparatively late today and he was not here. Anyway so I was calling him ... *beep beep* .... *beep beep* -- No answer! I redialed ... *beep beep* ... *beep beep* -- Duh, no answer again?!

What the hell is he upto? Why isn't he picking up :(? I thought maybe his phone's battery is dead and he'll come anytime by now. So I started to get ready. I wore my perfect purple dress, with a complementing scarf, 2 rings - one cocktail ring with a purple gem and a complementing silver one, I wore my best silver bracelet with my oh-so-pretty pearl watch. And guess what, I took my purple shoes out and wore them. Like I was totally ready with even my shoes on.

And whoa. My collegue, Saima, called in and said the driver's saying that we don't have to pick you up? That's what Sir Yasir has told him to do! I couldn't understand at first :/. Then I thought maybe it's because I already took an informed day-off hence he's angry or something and doesn't want me to be in the office anymore?!

My mind started to churn totally-out-of-context-crazy-thoughts. Am I silently fired? Or what is it? Is he angry? Doesn't he want me to show up in the office today?

I started to call Saima again and asked her to give the phone to the driver. The driver (as expected) started to misbehave. *We will talk about Pakistani men later*. Now I was really cross. I didn't mean to, but yes, I started to shout at him. I mean seriously, I was ready and waiting for the driver to listen to me, to understand my urge to come to the office, to empathize the feeling I had -- I started to weep silently. I hung up on him.

I sat on my bed quietly and stared blankly at the translucent window. The dawn had broken and sunshine started to pour in my room. It was a Sunday early morning. Yes. A Sunday early morning when employees world over are lost in their slumber lands. When no one wishes to move an inch away from their beds, I was awaken. Crying like a child who missed her school bus.

I changed to my black and pink hearts pjs and my XXL shirt with a football drawn on it. I was sitting on my bed again. This time, I stared at the wall clock. Tick-tock-tick-tock. I wanted to get to my office. But I couldn't. Cuz that lame driver wouldn't pick me up! A part of blame goes to me as well cuz I forgot to tell anyone that they have to pick me on Sunday : (. My uninformed absences were a problem, but I never had thought that without informing you cannot show up in office. I guess it's good for a punishment anyway : (.

I shrugged and tried to divert my mind elsewhere. I came out of my room. The home (as on any Sunday would be) was silent and dark. The windows and doors were shut. I fished the light switch in the dark after several attempts of tapping the wall with my seeking palm. I turned the lights on. I saw mithu sitting in the dark. I felt for the poor bird. I turned on the fan for it (though I feel like calling it, 'him'). Anyway.

I moved towards kitchen and fetched myself a bread and cheese spread. I took out a mango juice and filled a glass full. I gulped it down my gut in one breath. Then I took the bread and spread cheese over it. Just when I started to have fun with how smoothly the cheese spreads with a butter knife, my father came in the kitchen looking my way, confused.

"I think I have started to like your schedule. You sleep early even on Saturday nights and get up early on Sunday morns. Wow." I dunno whatever he said was sarcastic or literal. I smiled anyway. I told him my driver has become psychotic and it will take him another few years to develop his brains.

He smirked and left. Anyway, I was back to enjoying myself with the cheese spread. When I finally had enough of fun, I put the bread and cheese spread back in the fridge and started to eat. I finished in no time, of course. Cuz I skipped dinner yesterday (If you want to know why, you'll have to read my next blog).

I think I am pretty much OK now. And not feeling bad about it anymore. I guess I will clean my closet and my room today. And maybe clean the washroom too. But that only depends on my mood.

I love my pink mouse that I bought lately. It's purttyyyyy-full.