I won't be able to get over you.

Sometimes, pictures can speak louder than words. At least here :p.

Zubaida aapa is the new Faraz.

Hey,

SMS frenzy has caught everyone like the first wave of flu in winters. One always observes new trends in the messages that are forwarded (read: bombarded) in abundance to your mobile. Every time, a new character or issue is introduced and then your mobile phone is full of such messages. 'Kisne kaha tha pepsi pe paanch rupay kam kerdo?' was the most repeated SMS this Ramadan. Other than that, Zardari, Sherry Rehman and other political personalities have always been a target.

One character that wasn't that famous a person as a poet, became extremely famous when SMS from his name were floated. Yes, I am talking about none other than Faraz. Faraz SMS won everyone's heart. And, to confess, I also became a fan. These SMS were funny, witty and totally out of the blue. I loved them.

My life was going happy when the TV personality I despised the most (with due respect) -- Zubaida aapa -- became the new face of forwarded SMS. And God, people screwed her totally :p. Like really. Zubaida aapa k economic totkay, cute totkay, charseelay totkay and God knows what's gonna happen next. Whenever I wake up, I at least have 3-4 Zubaida aapa messages. She's totally on everywhere.

I really liked one of the Zubaida aapa SMS, that said: "Agar aapke bache k payt mein keeray hojayen toh uske pamper mein biscuit rakhdein, jese hi keera biscuit khanay aaye usay pakarr lein". HAHAHA. I mean for Heaven's sake. Who can think of such stuff man?! These bizarre jokes make you laugh. One has to confess! And I don't mind if my phone is full of Zubaida aapa's messages. It at least brings a smile on my face. Thank you SMS spammers!

Being right and walking on the wrong track.

Hey everyone,

Yesterday was a busy busy day, even today. Which left me with no energy to blog. Anyway, I am back with a bang now. Well not quite so. Cuz I've been disturbed about something. I attended two mehndis yesterday. One was of my phuppo's son and the gathering was limited to only close family members. First blood relations. Anyway. The mehndi number two was of my father's college friend's son. It was grand. Like Grand with a capital G :p.

The arrangement and everything was rather extravagant. Probably they spent around 2.5 lacs to arrange all those stuff -- dance floor, disco lights, extremely pretty looking floral stage and the grand grand tent (I wouldn't want to call it a tent, it didn't look like one). The fabric was so beautiful. Off-white, flowy. There were mirrors around the place. The dinner had a wide variety. I only ate desserts though because I couldn't help but fill my gut with the chocolate mousse pastries and coffee. Lol.

Anyway. So, everything was wonderful. The atmosphere, aura -- everything. Just one thing got me disturbed. I was like whoa. What the hell. It was when they announced the audience to settle down because the dances were going to begin. All of a sudden, two hijaabis started to dance on Sheela ki jawani (yes, that lame song that I have discussed about earlier). I was taken aback. Like seriously. Not that I am being narrow-minded or something, I just feel like dancing in public is NOT for hijaabis. I dunno why. (And by that, I am not advocating dancing the non-hijaabis dance in public).

Actually, maybe, I know why. It's because, if girls decide not to show their hair and body parts to namehram, it should be a no-no for them to dance in front of so many of them. And the number wasn't even sober seriously. They were wearing these black hats incorporated with white shirts and black ties (over what they were actually wearing). And then they started dancing. Bleh. I felt those chocolate mousse pastries burning in my gut, lol. Seriously.

I didn't like the idea of dancing hijaabis. They just don't belong. Hhhh. Just when I was being sour on this, the music changed and other girls started to dance. Meanwhile, these hijaabis were getting ready for their next move. The music started again, this time it was an Arabic tune and these hijaabis had those tinkling belts around their waists for belly dancing. Sweet mother of nature, BELLY DANCING?!

I am against the so very concept of such awkward dance routines in mehndis. And hijaabis just added to my rage. I couldn't digest it honestly. The biggest reason being that I am also a hijaabi. I cannot see girls who do hijaab bringing such filth to the concept. Seriously. Again they started to dance on 'zor ka jhatkka haaye zoron se laga' and this time, it was a duo. They were booty-to-booty with guys. This just stirred this eerie feeling of anger/contempt/embarrassment/sadness in me.

I still cannot properly put my feelings into words. But the bottom line remains that if a girl starts to dress decently or decides to take hijaab, it becomes a responsibility for her to carry it out in such a way that she inspires people. Not confuse them obviously. Because they themselves looked confused. Bring right and walking on the wrong track. May Allah help us better understand the concepts and philosophies Islam has to offer.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a self-proclaimed best example of a hijaabi, I also have a lot of faults in me. These are my views, you might as though differ.

Night.

And then I woke up.

Morning!

I am a person who doesn't get to dream a lot. By that I meant literal dreams. But whenever I do, they keep haunting me till the end of the day. The dreams that I get are usually very disturbing in nature. For example, I'd mostly see burglars breaking in my home or I'd see someone snatching my mobile. I also see traces from my past. People that have gone from my life. I see their faces. I see myself interacting with them.

It somewhat leaves me numb when I wake up. I get weird feelings about the dreams I get. Because they just pull me out of my deep slumber. I lay soundless for hours, gazing at the roof, until sleep overcomes me again. In my dreams, to my surprise, there is never anything positive to mention. People say dreams come true but totally opposite to how we see them. Like people say, if we see someone dying in the dream, it actually means that that person will have a long life.

God knows how much truth do these notions hold but I guess I end up buying them in order to gratify myself. It's good for a jhooti tassalli. I don't share my dreams with anyone though. If I am rather too disturbed, I'd probably share it with my mother. I feel a bit light then. But my mother doesn't. Cuz mothers are mothers after all! She always tells me to keep my room clean (in case I am bugged by some supernatural being). I laugh it off. I keep telling her I am not pretty enough that a jinn would fall in love with me.

Hhhh, anyway. You know, such dreams are rare though, cuz dreaming as a matter of fact is a rarity for me. But they leave me disturbed. I hate waking up whenever I see such a dream. Cuz when I do, despite the fact that my eyes are burning, I cannot go back to sleep. I have to stay up till slumber creeps on me.

Also, my mother keeps telling me that you watch that hideous cartoon, Courage the Cowardly Dog, that is why you get such odd dreams. Ummm, well maybe her speculations hold some substance. But I don't think I am obsessed to it to a level that it can alter my dream patterns. I recite La Haul and wait so that I can sleep.

I wish sometimes, that if dreaming for me is so rare, I wouldn't have ever gotten dreams. Cuz they leave me disturbed, it's better if I don't get them anyway!

The ‘me’ness.

Hello people,

Today, I am going to blog about things that I like or like to do. Be patient and enjoy ()

- I like to sit on the swing and take it really high so that I can stain the wall with my shoes.

- I like to drink coffee even when it’s summertime.

- I like my rubber-ish mobile cover and all the stickers on it.

- I like Knorr chili garlic sauce. I can even eat it just like that. Without anything else.

- I like popcorns.

- When I am having off-days, I like to lie on the sofa and yawn all day long.

- I like to clean my room once in a while.

- I like to collect stuff that I absolutely wouldn’t need.

- I like shoes.

- I like watches.

- I like to dip Gluco biscuit in tea.

- I like to send SMS.

- I like to laugh about things that have happened when I remember them.

- I like this mithayi. I dunno what is the real name of it. I like calling it ‘shakar wala pairra’.

- I like to collect pink things. My room is full of pink stuff.

- I like black too. And silver and gold.

- I like cooking.

- I like thinking about making different desserts.

- I like the sea.

- I like chocolates but only a few. I am selective. I like mint chocolates, orange chocolates, hazelnut chocolates and snickers-like chocolates.

- I like this chocolate-orange cake at Gelato Affair.

- I like to travel alone.

- I like rains.

- I like corns.

- I like my family.

- I like to dip French fries in chicken corn soup and eat it.

- I like those white sugary biscuits. I dunno what you call them, but I like them a lot.

- I like to watch cartoons.

- I like to ummm. OK that’s it.

The end.

Munni badnaam hui?

Hello everyone,

The other day, me and my papa were waiting in our car outside a department store near my house as my brother went inside to get some stuff. It was off-time for schools, hence a lot of vans went past us. One of them however, seemed to be coming back from a picnic or something. There were students inside the van, ranging from ages 12-15 approximately. They seemed to be having fun and everyone inside seemed happy.

I was looking outside the car's window, smiling at them. When suddenly, my smiling jaw dropped after hearing the type of sleazy music playing in the van. The most repeated number, of course, was Munni Badnaam Hui. I was taken aback. I felt so bad for those poor little children and what sort of environment they are exposed to. After Munni Badnaam, the next song that played was Sheela ki jawaani! I mean for heaven's sake! Have singers like A-teens and Aqua died? Whose songs we listened to whilst we grew up. Or our Pakistani alternative used to be Koko Koreena and Ucchiyan majajan wali. Things weren't as bad!

OK, I am not from a very old generation but when I was young, we at least heard decent songs. Our generation didn't shake booties on Munni Badnaam or Sheela ki Jawani. They are far too vulgar, seriously! At this vulnerable age, children have sensitive minds which, when molded, can take up any shape you give them. If you want to shape them into good, decent and well-behaved individuals, you have to nurture them in the similar way. Not by getting them exposed to the lethal Hindi music with vulgar lyrics and even more vulgar videos.

This is actually the culture we are imparting in our coming generation. And if it continues to be so, we will have a much more maligned society than we have now. Because the corrupt society of today is a living example of how Indian culture is spoiling the young generation and the generations to come. Which also reminds me, last week, I went to buy halwa poori breakfast with my brothers. As both of them stepped out and stood in the queue, I saw a tuition academy next to it. Since I was waiting in the car, I actually got some time to observe how the new generation has become.

Checking out girls (or checking out boys for girls) was practiced during my time too but only discreetly and under the cover. It wasn't so open. I remember, if a guy wanted to come up and ask for friendship, he had to befriend a girl first and then send a message via her friend to you, to become friends with him. This long and tiring process at least saved up the dirt that surrounds the academies now. Teenagers seem to be having no other topic than dating and exchanging mobile phone numbers so that they can talk whole night long (thanks to the night packages).

The 'dhaai rupay ghanta' hasn't done no good to our innocent students and teens. Literally, when I was observing the girls, they looked far older than their ages, mainly because of the amount of makeup they had used and secondly, their shaped brows. I am not at all against shaped brows, but shaping your brows when you are still in school/high school was considered a taboo in my days. OK, before you burst out saying my days are gone, let me remind you that I did away my schooling in 2004 and my high school in 2006. So I am not as old as I might sound. The only difference is, the outburst and spread of vulgarity in the society has happened exponentially. The growth it has shown, and the penetration is massive. Really massive. It seems uncontrollable at times.

What I feel bad about is that parents have become numb now. I wonder what mothers are doing (with all the respect to each one of them) when their young and innocent daughters dress to kill when they are going out for tuitions or acquisition of knowledge. Or what are the fathers doing when they catch their sons red-handed with cigarettes or equally harming alternatives? Yes again, things like these prevailed in my time too, the only difference was that they were not as open as they are today, which makes the situation worse.

The parents, teachers and elder siblings should take a hold of the matter seriously now. Take these vulgar songs away from them so that none of the young 12-year old girls would like to dance on an item number like Munni Badnaam not just in front of the male class fellows, but the van drivers! And the situation is much more grave than what I have described here. Cuz whatever I have told or jotted down is mere observation. It's all on the surface. What lies under the ugly face of the facade might have another uglier story to tell.

God help us all! Please :-(.

Goodnight.

Where it went wrong.

Good day people!

Today with my cup of black coffee in the morning, I decided to skim through the classified pages from Sunday's Dawn newspaper. I quickly rolled over the ever-thinning jobs section. To my dismay, each time I open the jobs section, I find opportunities that are not within my reach. And it's obviously sad because the industry demands for people who come out graduating from the 'big names' of the education sector. Most of the ads you read have these words: ‘LUMS or IBA graduate required’. And if you don’t belong to these business schools, you’re definitely not their priority! The education fraternity in Pakistan is still malnourished. The standards of our universities do not meet the international criteria and do not qualify to be named in good words.

Only a handful of universities are deemed as 'good' universities and the remaining are considered as underdogs, and the students enrolled as underachievers. So what makes a certain university good and its students creme de' la creme? I guess the matter of the fact remains that the education elite of Pakistan is primarily those who can afford to be educated. The affluent can get themselves enrolled in the much-too-expensive universities or obviously they always have the backup plan ― go abroad and study there.

Now the remaining ones are those who can go to an extent to afford higher education or then there are those who simply cannot do it and end up at various ‘cheaper’ but obviously unequal alternatives. The middle-class people can take the risk of investing a great deal of their fortune in their children’s education reckoning that one day they will get the return of their investments and things will turn in their favour.

I used to teach in one of the biggest schooling networks of Pakistan and it was of a (pleasant) surprise to me that mostly parents that came to drop their children to school, usually used a bike or rickshaw as a means of transport. Initially, I used to think that perhaps bikes and rickshaws can zoom-in and pave their way in the traffic easily which is why they choose it as a means of transport, but later on, as I happened to go through the personal files of the children including their background information, I found out that it was totally different than what I used to think.

The families actually couldn’t afford to get their children enrolled in such expensive schools, but they did. Because they didn’t want to compromise on their children’s future. Well, I felt happy about it because in a way it is a very positive decision. But on the other hand, I would feel depressed for those people who cannot afford to take such decisions because their limited resources do not allow them to do so.

So now, what actually is the outcome of this disturbed equilibrium of the education system of Pakistan? We are not capitalizing on the current human resource. The employers keep filtering the potential candidates on the basis of the label they carry. IBA, LUMS, GIK and yadda yadda. The list goes on. The employers need to realise that there is an enormous chasm between the haves and the have-nots and some people can actually have inborn talent and an unmatched IQ even if they have not studied from a top-notch university.

Education is not ‘better’ for everyone. Better education demands affordability, not only in Pakistan but elsewhere too. Therefore, the employers should keep this notion in mind whilst hiring somebody, that Pakistan only has a handful of good universities and not everyone can afford to be there. Therefore, rather than labeling the human resource and defining their worth only by the university they’ve come from is mere foolishness. Capitalize on the given resources and we will definitely break the barriers.

When such criteria are put aside for sometime and unbiased, fulfilling jobs are offered, I guess we will have a better Pakistan to talk about and people will not have to leave their homeland for better prospects abroad!

Gender bias. Everywhere!

Hello,

As said earlier in my blogs, I am not at all a great fan of 'mardana' mentality. I am strictly against male chauvinism. I dunno why men think there's a parity between the two genders. Men, women are different from you, but it doesn't make them weaker or inferior to you. They are just different. Please understand!

Today, me and my sister along with a friend of mine went to The Forum mall in Clifton. We couldn't find any parking in the facade, hence we had we had to park in the streets. So there was this parking which we found after roaming in the streets for long in search of parking. Just as I parked the car and pulled the hand break, a 15 year old Afgani boy came and said, "Yehan nah park kero!" (Don't park here!). I was taken aback. I tried to understand his revolt against me parking at that particular place.

I asked in return, "Kya hua?" (what happened?) To my perplexity, he couldn't come up with any good reason. I told him "Main toh yahin park keroongi, tumhain kya masla hai?"(I am gonna park here only, what's wrong with you?).

As expected, he pulled angry faces at me. I ignored and asked my fellows to keep walking and ignore him. After a long and tiring episode of shopping, we came back to our car, with the front tyres punctured. Yes. Read again. The front tyres punctured! I was so cross at what had happened, because the only suspect was that Afgani boy. I felt so bad. Because this is what you get as an outcome of not listening to a man (at least mostly, exceptions are there).

I dunno when this mentality is going to end and when men will understand the difference between being different and being inferior?

A relationship is bits and pieces.

Hello fellas,

People say, relationship has to go through big challenges. It has to undergo phases of love, growth and understandability. It calls for big things -- big sacrifices, big patience, big tolerance and big mercy. I beg to differ. I think a best relationship is made up of bits and pieces. Of small things. Of things which leave a soothing impact on your memory. Which comforts you in your times of dismay. One doesn't necessarily have to owe huge compromises in order to proves the depth of one's love.

Love is about connecting with each other. And seriously, I don't believe in the notion 'feeling the unsaid'. One needs to say everything one has in one's heart. One shouldn't leave things for the other to feel. Some things can be felt like warmth, love and emotions. But few other things are actually meant for telling and connecting with your soulmate.

I am a girl who believes in savouring little treats of life. Like a smile shared when you two are stuck in traffic, just to ease the creases on one's forehead. The appreciative nod when you say something in front of a bunch of people and you know he admires you for what you've said and has respect for you in his heart. When everyone is trying to tease him and mock him, you defend him. You go and thrash everyone, shielding him.

These small things are like a salt of relationship. Without these small things, relationship feels tasteless. Like something is missing. Like you have not ended up with your soulmate. Because you fail to connect.

Connecting matters I believe. Telling small little details to one another makes a relationship stronger and long lasting.

A bug of sanitation.

Hello people,

Mothers are a very vital component of a home, nay? Well at least, my mother is! It's like the whole world stops when she's not around. Lately, when she was off to my sister's home for nearly 4 days, everything seemed somber things couldn't seem to work out somehow. Piled up dishes, dirty home, unwashed clothes, no food. Hhhh. It is so difficult to spend life without ammi!

But as they say, difficult time is a great teacher. It teaches you a lot of things. Even teaches a lazy being as me, some sense of responsibility. And I can proudly declare that in the absence of ammi, I managed to keep the home clean very effectively. I'd keep the kitchen gleaming, the floors smelling great (thanks to dettol multipurpose cleaner with rose fragrance :p) and did all other chores too. Yes, including sweeping and mopping.

And believe me, it's not all difficult once you get on the work. It's actually fun to work. And an unorganized girl like me can also discover the bug of sanitation inside. I never realised how much joy does a clean, shining kitchen can give. How much good you feel when you watch TV in a neat and tidy lounge. It's good, really.

And even now when ammi has come, I insist to do the dishes and clean the kitchen at least. I like tidying up things there. Cleaning the stove, doing the dishes, and rose-smelling slabs are so satisfying :p. Really. I don't care about my moisturised hands. I forget that I recently trimmed my cuticle or did manicure or how lemon max can destroy the suppleness of my hands. I stand proudly after cleaning the whole kitchen and utterly enjoy the compliments I get from ammi and papa.

And yes, every other lazy, unorganised girl can have a bug of sanitation in herself. It's just about discovering, regardless of the reason of discovery :).

Can a journalist make a good wife?

Hello everyone,

I was doing the dishes when this thought occurred to my mind that if a journalist can make a good wife or not. Lol. This might sound funny to you, but let me break it down to make it more comprehensible. Sir Humair always tells us that a journalist should keep the element of doubt present and never to take things on face value. Try to find the intricate meanings and try to read between the lines. Have a cynical approach towards life. These are probably the traits most hated by men.

As a journalist, I have also started to read between the lines and have a doubtful view to just about anything. If this continues to be the same, I am sure to get my husband irritated by my habit because men are so not pleased by all such characteristics.

There are a few very basic situations in which a journalist wife can doubt her husband. For example, the husband tells his wife that he'll be home late tonight and she should not wait for him at the dinner table. The journalist wife will try to gather her facts first. She'd try to ask the husband about the nature of work, the time he'd stay in the office. Then the wife would call in the office and confirm about his husband, by only taking his name and not disclosing her identity.

When he'd get back home, she'll go in the parking to check if the engine is really hot or mildly hot. Because if it is really hot then it means that the car had gone for a long drive. Then she'd check the interiors if the car has any faintest clue of a feminine fragrance. She'd then check for files -- work done under the same date. Then furthermore, she'd check for any receipts of any restaurant or boutique.

And the suspicions will go on and on and on ...

Therefore, the level of doubt instilled in a journalist during the academic years might be harmful for one's marital relationships or so I think. There can be another perspective to it also, so keep your element of doubt awaken and don't take whatever I have written on face value!

PS. This might be the same for the guys too, but guys are always full of doubts, so why state the obvious? Lol.

The 'us'ness.

Since we're having the last few days of our university, me and my groupies try our best to make most of the time we have in our hands. Today was out community development exam. For the first time in my university I cheated. And obviously I was not alone, my partners in crime, Sarah, Sumbul and Samreen did the same :p. There was this question about the case study of 'Khush haal Pakistan'. It carried ten marks. But the clauses of that case study were MAD! So this other class fellow of ours, Hira Malik, took pictures of the handout with all the clauses snapped, and transferred it to our phones.

During the exam, all of us had either our cellphones or handouts put on our lap. The exam went pathetic of course, but the adventure of cheating in exam is definitely incomparable to anything else! After getting through with the exam, all four of us -- Sarah, me, Sam and Sumbul -- went to Sufi dhaaba. We ordered nehari and aloo palak. Both of them -- as expected -- were awesome! We asked the waiter for garebi (refill). We ordered an extra roti and everyone had a quarter of it.

After our dinner we had doodh patti(tea) and went off to wander in the university. We spoke and laugh at the peak of our lungs and decided to goto this juice shop for soup. We had chicken and corn soup with French fries. The soup was excellent. All four of us became emotional all of a sudden wondering this all would end soon as we have only four more exams to do away with.

After our soup session we all bid goodbyes to each other. University days are no more gonna be there. I am sure going to enjoy all this. Never am I going to forget these times cuz surely, these four years were the best years if my life!

Not really subtle.

Morning everyone,

Life is always in the wake of finding and losing people. It's just like the cycle of life. Some people have to go to leave room for others to come. But some people are there for good. They stick to you. Like elfy ka payedaar jorr :p.

Eddie bhai, like many such people, is one who holds a fixed place in my life. We don't talk much anymore, but whenever we do, it's like a beginning of a new chapter. It's like, when I am going through old pictures or thinking about old times, I come across his memories which suddenly roll back the wheel of time and I stand right in front of him, smiling. It's such a lovely feeling you know. When someone can do that.

Although, in such a fast paced life, one often forgets the people around and really, it's very hard to keep up with people and that is why you just stop talking to them. And thanks to eddie bhai, he provides me with that comfort that actually relaxes me for a time and I know in my heart that OK even if I am not able to get time out for him, when I get back to him we are sure to talk! And that is what literally happens.

At times, it's like months pass by and then a text from either side can come saying hello and that is it. We're more easy with each other now actually. We've grown well with time. And his presence in my life is not as subtle as you might think. He's there. Like a backup memory when my hard disk might crash. LOL. Thanks Eddie bhai :p.

The night of all nights.

Hello everyone,

I am blogging after a long long pause, lol. Anyway, it was the eve of 4th December 2010, when batch 2007-11 of Mass Communication department, celebrated their annual dinner. It was a lot of fun but obviously involved a lot of legwork.

Kashif, Zain Nabi, Zain-ul-Abideen, Talal Bin Ayub, Youmna Ghori and Azher were a great great support. Thank to Noreen Shams also, she gave us the strength to prove ourselves and what we can do.

All in all the event went so well, hamdulillah! The gathering, the food, the arrangement, everything was really really good. I will miss all my class fellows!

'A bag full of hungry squirrels' defines my class fellows.

OK exceptions are everywhere, but honestly speaking, my class fellows are a herd of mad elephants running with ants in their noses! Or nothing less than that at least. Cuz seriously, I am so mad today. I feel sad too. And bad also. All the people are mad. No common sense, and no remorse over not having it!

Lately, what just happened, is a prime example of stupidity. Duh. After all the legwork done, all the runs and all the 'jugarrs' applied, the eventual outcome was a dinner in the department? Come on! I guess I have vented enough and I needn't waste my time on people who are not definitely worth the effort.

Today was my exam. Creative journalism. Wasn't as creative throughout the semester though. The sessions I attended were just cries and rants. Nothing on the learning side. Which is why I avoided attending the sessions. In my believe, Sir Humair was THE only consistent teacher who taught us properly and whatever he spoke made sense and had substance. The rest was just like piling on more bullshit and shoveling it in students' faces!

I am so cross at the moment. Lol. Hhhh. Relaxxxx Sidrahhhh. Easyyyyyy.

The exam went well but I dunno what was wrong today with our course instructor. She was alright when she used to take the class. Today, surprisingly, she was exasperated. Irritated. And angry too. She was not in the right mood perhaps. I did my exam I ran towards the office to take print outs to be put in my portfolio. I ran back to the class to submit it to her, but she had already bound all the assignments together with a jute rope sort of a thing (as observed generally in KU).

Just as I was trying to somewhat put it in the tied pile, she started to tell me off. "What sort of people you are. I mean really. This is the height of it. Kuch gher pe nae sikhaya gaya kya? (Aren't you taught anything at home?)

Duh. No ma'am, you weren't there at my home so I couldn't really understand which bird's name is 'ethics'. (Lol what a literal translation :p.)

For a good thing, I am going with my sister and cousin to watch a movie. Will have nachos. Haaye nachos :(. I crave them like anything right now. The show's timings are odd though. 11 pm to 1 pm. But whatever it is, I am sure we will have fun.

Tata.

Not quite the 'chirchirri' sorts.

Morning people,

It's comparatively a good day today. Maybe. Well I am preoccupied with a tension, but what just happened with me in the van is supposed to be mentioned in good words. Anyway. That 'anchor' person that I spoke about earlier is not as bitchy as I deemed her to be. Today, when the van picked me up, we drove towards her house to pick her up.

She sat with a smile this time. She was down-to-Earth. Kind. Talking. I felt a change. I smiled back, I spoke kind words too, complimented her. Actually promised her that I will tell my friends about her Facebook page. Good for a start, nay?

I felt sorry in my heart that I thought wrong things about her. I mistook her gestures. Misjudged her.

But to make up for that, I talked to her. According to her, she hates people who talk in 'Hinglish', drink black coffee and smoke. I don't do smoking but surely do the other two. She said it can be tolerated. I was thankful :p.

Life for me these days, is a bit harsh and a bit nice. Just when I realise that things are not going my way, something or the other happens in my favour. On the brink of my university's last days and in the process of losing friends and finding new ones, I realise relationships are temporary in today's world. They don't hold as much substance as they used to back in old times. Which is why we see a growth in divorce rates. Sad isn't it? How people end up things so quickly? And how things come to an end. But a wise friend of mine said that this is the beauty of life. This is how the cycle of life goes on. We cannot change it and we are no one to change it.

My newborn bhanja is in ICU. May Allah give him health and may he recovers soon, amen. Loads of tensions these days. But alhamdulillah, summa alhamdulillah, I am content.

And that brings the curtain down.

Gosh.

Finally the last day of university. I dunno how it is so impossible for me to sink in. I just dunno how to react to this. I have mixed emotions. Dismay and glee. I wish I was able to comprehend my own feelings and somehow word them. But I cannot. My mind is clogged with memories from past.

I feel like that child who cries a lot to get a toy, then when she gets it she loses interest. And finally when it's taken away, she starts to cry for it all over again. It feels just yesterday that I was enrolled in the University of Karachi :(. How come four years slipped away from my hands? It all happened so fast that now when I look back, it seems as if I enjoyed nothing at all. My university life has come to an end. EVERYTHING has come to an end. The walks, the juice, Sir Humair's sessions. Everything.

I don't have anything to look up to now. I mean what's left? Just my job? No fun?! Tsk. What do I do :(. I woke up today and realised I don't have to go to university today. That's the freakiest thing I can imagine :(.